Husbands complain that the bride’s parents often either interfere in their daughter’s life after marriage or in their married life. It all depends on the wife, how she was raised and what is her relationship with her parents. If for some reason she is afraid to tell them something, if she was brought up in the style of “parents can not be denied” or “parents are always right”, it is a difficult situation and it will be difficult for a husband, first of all. However, today we will talk about how to make a good impression on the wife’s parents, which can help in future family life.
If your wife’s parents consider her dependent (one that needs the help of older, more experienced people), and you make a good impression on your wife’s parents, they will be calm that their daughter is in safe hands.
In this way, they seem to subconsciously transfer the responsibility of “raising” their daughter to you. It sounds a bit strange. But it is psychology. However, to make such a good impression, you will need to try hard. After all, from the point of view of psychology, her parents must subconsciously “allow you access to their level.”
What are the specifics of communication with the wife’s parents in Moldova? Is it harder than in your country or vice versa? Let’s find out more.
Customs and traditions of Moldova are the basis
Most people in Moldova do not follow old customs and traditions. However, if you are a foreigner, you will be expected to honor them. Such a difficult task awaits a foreigner if his wife is from Moldova.
Family traditions of Moldova are quite interesting and it will be quite interesting to know them. It is not necessary to follow or imitate them, but knowing about these traditions will be a plus. Even in the case of maintaining a conversation. So ask your wife in advance how many members she had in the family.
Ask what parents do. Are grandparents alive and if so, where do they live? How is it customary in her family to celebrate holidays? If there is a family in the countryside, what interesting childhood traditions she remembers.
You can use all this information for a joint dialogue with her parents when you come to meet them. A common topic is a high percentage of successful conversation. People are impressed when others are interested in their family, achievements, and so on.
Understanding family behavior will help you better understand your wife from Moldova. To get to know her better, you need to understand what style of behavior and coexistence in the family she is used to. After all, she will use similar patterns of behavior in your common family life.
You may or may not like it, and you will try to change her (although often to no avail). However, it is better to know in advance what awaits you. You can also talk to your wife about what is unpleasant for you and how it was in your family. She can also behave in a new way in your presence, listen to your advice and start a family. Although, this is the subject of another article.
One of the main aspects of a relationship for Moldovan woman is acceptance of future husband by her parents. So how do you make your Moldovan wife’s parents like you?
Hospitality is what will save you
When you visit her parents, they will usually smile sincerely, her father will greet you with a handshake, and her mother will hug you and kiss you on the cheek. You can answer the same way.
Previously, there was a tradition to greet guests with bread and salt, and in addition to the local Moldovan flavor – with delicious homemade wine. Now everything looks a little different.
Read also: Why it is common for Moldovan women to marry foreigners
Guests are invited to a table with a large number of traditional and modern dishes, homemade wine and other stronger drinks. In general, foreigners are a little shocked at how much they eat at the table during family holidays in Moldova. Getting to know your son-in-law is also a holiday, so you will have to take part in it.
To give up the dishes prepared by her mother is moveton. So be prepared that you will have to eat a lot. You, as a distinguished guest, can constantly get more food on a plate, get offered new dishes, regardless of whether you are full or not. It may be the same with wine. If her dad pours a glass and everyone drinks to the end, it is believed that everyone should do the same.
Conversations during the first acquaintance with the wife’s parents from Moldova
As a rule, drinks at the common table are quite relaxing, sometimes too much. That’s why parents can ask you a lot of questions. Most will be about whether you love their daughter, whether you are planning to have children, and if so, how much.
There will also be questions about how you make a living. Most likely, no one will directly ask how much you earn, but they can ask about the work, where do you live (own house, apartment or rent).
In short, everything is pretty standard. They will evaluate your financial stability, psychological maturity and readiness to start a family, as well as (as far as possible) will try to subjectively understand for themselves whether you are suitable for their daughter.
Saying in advance, if you are from the West, her parents will most likely be more sympathetic to you. If you also have good manners, neat appearance and you know how to communicate calmly, showing confidence – you will win the affection of her parents after the first acquaintance.
Over time, if all goes well in your relationship, her parents’ affection and trust in you will only grow.
In Moldova, it is believed that a couple will be happy only when the daughter receives a blessing from her parents for a happy married life. You may not believe it, but it is very important for your Moldovan wife.
So try to make a good impression on her parents so that they believe that you will be a worthy man for their daughter. Believing that you are a reliable man, they will bless you both and your other half will be happy.
Remember that your first acquaintance with her parents is a kind of game. Be worthy and don’t let people joke about you. Be sensible, but clearly show your character. You can “give in” a little, but never allow her parents to take an active part in your future life.
Getting to know her parents is good, fun and enjoyable, but your future life with your wife is a separate point. The less interference in your affairs, the better for you. Don’t let anyone do that, not even her parents, no matter how good your relationship is with them and how strong is your wife’s connection with her parents.
What other ways are there to win the favor of the wife’s parents from Moldova?
Working together with her family members
Working together is one of the best ways to establish a dialogue. If her parents live in the countryside, there will usually be a lot of different housework during the warm season.
By helping her dad, you will soon find common ground with him. Especially if you listen to his instructions (and they will be), and do not show too much of your own initiative.
Also, most likely, there will be a lot of comic situations during your help, because you will do a lot of things for the first time and wrong, but such situations are only for your benefit.
Go fishing with her father
Her father may invite you to go fishing with him. This is considered to be a purely male occupation in Moldova, so there will most likely be only men. Maybe just you and her dad.
The language barrier is also not an obstacle. Most of the time, her father will say something himself and show the rest how-to-do things to you.
During the trip, he will simply evaluate you, your behavior, your skills. Maybe he will compare you with himself in his youth.
What if she has an incomplete family or her parents are divorced?
It all depends on where your wife tells you to go. If her parents are divorced, but she communicates with both – you will take turns visiting them both. If there are any exceptions – listen to your wife, she will tell you how to do it right.
If one of the family members is gone, you may visit the cemetery with your wife. Here you need to show support, care and hug her when needed.
Visiting one of her parents is also an interesting experience for you. Here everything can be a little easier, because a sumptuous feast, most likely, will not take place, everything will be more like a dinner with the family, which is perhaps for the better.
Do not forget about the principle of respect for elders
Moldovan family is based on the principle of respect for the old parents, while taking into account the interests of all its members.
Showing respect to parents is important. You may not really care about the attitude of her parents towards you, but you have to keep in mind it is important to your Moldovan mate.
Be smiling, open and communicate on different topics. Try to omit the topic of religion and politics. The most important thing is to remember that parents want to see their daughter happy. When they see you make her happy, they would appreciate you.
Confidence is what her parents expect from her husband
You have to be confident. Of course, you will not be able to play the role of a confident man if you are not one of them. And you don’t have to do that. You must always remain yourself and show your best qualities. In case you are confident by nature – unobtrusively show it to her parents on occasion.
What to bring to the first meeting with the wife’s parents from Moldova?
Bring some presents like chocolate and a bottle of whiskey. Some other good alcohol is also ok. Who knows, it might be the bottle which is going to eliminate language and cultural barriers between you and her father.
Reas also: Typical Moldovan Woman
Her mother is usually a gentle and hospitable woman and a foreign fiancé of her daughter is already considered a good choice, if the daughter feels happy. Bring some flowers for her mother, flowerpot or orchid. Chocolates will also be a good sign of attention.
What if you have your own views on life?
After reading the article, you probably realized that many things when meeting her parents, as well as many Moldovan traditions, are related to the consumption of alcohol and meat dishes.
What if you are a raw foodist, a vegetarian, and (or) do not want to contaminate your body with alcohol and its breakdown products?
It’s very simple – you need to remain yourself, as we have advised before. This is always the best and win-win choice. If you are an open person, it will be much easier for you to communicate with her parents.
If you accept yourself the way you are, other people will also accept you the way you are. This applies to everyone, and so to her parents. Her dad might be joking with you, but it will be good jokes. Her mom will generally accept your life position, most likely – well, and without unnecessary questions.
If something goes wrong, just the way you would not like it to go, accept this situation as an experience, remembering that this meeting is not for long, and you are going to live with your wife, not her parents.